Saying Grace Before a Meal Can Be Awkward
A grace is a short prayer or thankful phrase said before or after eating. I grew up reciting a prayer that went something like this:
"Bless us, O Lord, and these, Thy gifts,
which we are about to receive from Thy bounty.
Through Christ, our Lord. Amen."
President Franklin Roosevelt famously asserted, "The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself." Take a poll of common fears that people share and you’ll often get results such as fear of tight places, bugs or maybe a fear of heights. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that for many folks another of their biggest fears might be praying out loud. Saying grace before a meal, whether you’re the host or guest, can be nerve-wracking. The fear of praying aloud has gotten a bad rap — it's not nearly as complicated as we try to make it. Here’s some suggestions, some etiquettes, of how to say grace amazing well in all situations:
- There are no “bad” prayers; you can’t mess-up a blessing before or after a meal; a blessing said over the preparers, the servers or the host is always a safe prayer
- Usually it’s the host’s responsibility to saying a blessing or the grace. If the host defers this honor, arrange this before the meal, not while all are seated - avoid those awkward moments
- Holding hands. Whatever. I prefer not to. Usually I wash my hands before a meal. Did the person to my left or right do the same?
- “Good food, good meat, good God, let’s eat!” — reverence eclipses humor
- A lengthy grace is not more spiritual than a short prayer of thanks
- The pre or post-meal prayer is not the time to sermonize
Lastly, it’s important to remember that not everyone at the meal table believes like you believe. They may be of a different faith, or have none at all. Consider what grace is. It’s both a prayer as in this context and it's also a noun: showing courteous goodwill and behaving in a polite manner; keep your prayer of grace comfortable for all. The reminder here is that you’re gathering to share a meal, not to espouse your theology.
Barukh ata Adonai Eloheinu, melekh ha'olam, hamotzi lehem minha'aretz.
"Blessed are You, LORD our God, King of the universe, Who brings forth bread from the earth." ~ Amen